R and R

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  I don’t know about you, but I never seem to “allow” myself to truly relax.  I’ve always envied people who make up their minds that they are taking care of their needs and just do it.  My “bad” habit about not putting myself and my needs first go back a long way.  I was caregiver 24/7 for my parents for 6 years and my daughter was young at that time as well.  Those years saw me getting very little sleep, gaining quite a bit of weight, having very little free time and stressed most of the time.  I know I did what I had to do at the time and I know it was the right thing to do(having that special relationship with my parents plus the heightened spirituality).  I missed a lot of things that I was no longer able to do…I regret not having the quiet times with my daughter(not being able to read to her, those were special times for us).  The interesting fact is that during that time, she learned to read by CDs and her reading skills sky rocketed.  I regret not having the time and energy for my husband, our home, our cat, and my friends.

   Bringing us back to R and R…it’s 10 years since that time and I still haven’t  “allowed” myself R and R without guilt.  I always feel the need to “accomplish” something…the to-do list always beckons, the pets need attention, food needs to be made, house needs to be cleaned, de-cluttering needs to be done and the list goes on and on.

   I realized the other day just how bad it had gotten.  I had taken a nap on a Sunday afternoon…something I never do…had felt “down” all day for some reason and nothing looked good to me.  I’d gotten up to make dinner and just as it was done, my left eye became blurred and I could feel a headache coming on.  I quickly fixed the pets’ food, got my husband’s plate out and the utensils, called him, said I didn’t feel good, ran to the bathroom, put compresses on my eyes, threw up and quickly went to bed with a full blown migraine.

   I know now that it is imperative that I start being good to myself.  I’ve been diligent with the various improvements in my lifestyle with water, no sugar, watching what I am eating, now my next step is getting the rest I need and being good to myself and my needs.  All of the other health improvements won’t be worth anything if I don’t get my rest.

   Looks like it’s about time…

   Eva

 

 

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